A Little Extra Hate For Strip 80

A LITTLE EXTRA HATE THAT I WROTE

I am not so delusional to think that I have even a lacy shadow’s hope of being elected to the most powerful position in the country… today. I do find the examples set by the recent residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue morbidly encouraging, though.

I’ll grant to my pundits that there is the obvious fact that I am not college educated. Indeed, had I been like Bush the Lesser and been awarded a ‘C’-averaged bachelor’s degree from Yale as a belated High School graduation present, it may lend me credibility. I am certainly not similar to Obama, who holds high honors from both Columbia University and Harvard Law, and then really didn’t do shit until he went dick to dick with Hillary Clinton and won… barely. Indeed, I don’t think that I could even point out where his colleges are on a fucking MAP, much less get into a meat whistle contest with the most politically hungry lesbian the world has ever seen.

Despite my shortcomings, both literal and intellectual, I have divined a harsh truth from the examples set by these two men: It doesn’t matter whether you’re smart or experienced, only whether you’re likeable and popular. As any one of you sons of bitches can attest to, I am a very likeable person. I think that if I were to start bribing and killing off those acquaintances of mine that can cite examples of why that last statement is not true, I would have a viable stake at winning the daddy chair. It would take a lot of hard work though, and hard work makes me itch.

If I begin the acidic vitiation of the remaining shards of what was once my moral character before lunch TODAY while at the same time increasing my public popularity by producing and starring in a reality television show where regular citizens hurt themselves for money and brief fame, I think I’d have a real shot at this thing in ten or eleven years. These plans are all dependant, of course, on what the fall television season of 2020 looks like. If people have nothing more entertaining to watch than the news, then I’m screwed. That’s what did McCain in. The writers’ strike. That and just a pinch of evil in everything he does.

A LITTLE EXTRA HATE THAT I WROTE I am not so delusional to think that I have even a lacy shadow’s hope of being elected to the most powerful position in the country… today. I do find the examples set by the recent residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue morbidly encouraging, though. I’ll grant to my pundits that there is the obvious fact that I am not college educated. Indeed, had I been like Bush the Lesser and been awarded a ‘C’-averaged bachelor’s degree from Yale as a belated High School graduation present, it may lend me credibility. I am certainly not similar to Obama, who holds high honors from both Columbia University and Harvard Law, and then really didn’t do shit until he went dick to dick with Hillary Clinton and won… barely. Indeed, I don’t think that I could even point out where his colleges are on a fucking MAP, much less get into a meat whistle contest with the most politically hungry lesbian the world has ever seen. Despite my shortcomings, both literal and intellectual, I have divined a harsh truth from the examples set by these two men: It doesn’t matter whether you’re smart or experienced, only whether you’re likeable and popular. As any one of you sons of bitches can attest to, I am a very likeable person. I think that if I were to start bribing and killing off those acquaintances of mine that can cite examples of why that last statement is not true, I would have a viable stake at winning the daddy chair. It would take a lot of hard work though, and hard work makes me itch. If I begin the acidic vitiation of the remaining shards of what was once my moral character before lunch TODAY while at the same time increasing my public popularity by producing and starring in a reality television show where regular citizens hurt themselves for money and brief fame, I think I’d have a real shot at this thing in ten or eleven years. These plans are all dependant, of course, on what the fall television season of 2020 looks like. If people have nothing more entertaining to watch than the news, then I’m screwed. That’s what did McCain in. The writers’ strike. That and just a pinch of evil in everything he does.