I said I’d do it, but you didn’t believe me.  WHY DIDN’T YOU BELIEVE ME!?

The joys of being a ferret owner don’t stop at soaking up urine or feces with paper towels and tracking down stolen shoes.  It also involves evaluating any new furniture or fixtures and hardening them against destruction, infiltration, or suicide attempts.  It’s a lot like opening a 24 hour pharmacy next to a crack house.  Sooner or later some smelly, hairy and unwashed bastard is going to come sniffing around looking for a way to either steal or utterly destroy your valuable shit in pursuit of their own satisfaction. 

We were delivered a really swanky couch and a VERY nice leather loveseat from Saira’s pregnant sister last weekend, so we had to construct defenses against the pestiferous forces of our small animal kingdom.  We tried to send the ferrets a warning by mutilating our cats, but those stoic little bastards have nerves of steel.

Owing to the fact that both Skitz and Spot have utilized their front claws on our old furniture for a kitty art project of theirs titled “What Normal Furniture Would Look Like If It Slid Sideways Out Of A Race Car”, we decided that we needed to declaw them before the arrival of our new, and consequently free, furniture.  Then we decided that they wiggled around too damned much, and just paid the vet to do it.  While they were away at kitty concentration camp, we received the couches.  In our understandable underestimation of the purely entropic nature of our beautiful ferrets, we just let them free so that they could tear shit up.  And they did.  Then we put them back up.  Then we blamed each other for letting them out in the first place… out of love.

So the rest of this week was devoted to us stapling the holy living shmutz out the bottom of the couches in order to add an extra layer of super thick, super cheap Wal-Mart cloth that should keep the little shit-fucks from getting into them again.  It wasn’t as much fun as I make it sound.

On a different note, our cats are home now, sans 10 little knuckles apiece, and they will never trust again.  I believe that they are plotting their revenge as we speak.  Bring it, pussies.

I have included a sample of the artwork that I have been working on for the motion comic.  It’s a young dragon, but you should have already known that, unless you’re retarded.  To be truthful, even I didn’t think that I could draw.  Shows what I know, doesn’t it?  DOESN’T IT!?!?  I’M AWESOME, GOD DAMN IT!!!

WHY WON’T ANYONE BELIEVE ME?!?!?!?